The alchemy of fear

May we remember. Not the images. Not the pain. Not the fear. Not the fire. Not the tears. Not the anger. Not the unknown others. Not the threats. Not the repercussions. Not, all the gods that ever were or are, NOT the endless war. Lift our hearts to that moment of blue-sky September-perfect. We were […]

Tone Deaf and Colorblind

I can’t remember when I learned my father was colorblind. I do remember my tiny mind being blown. “Wait, so what DO you see?” I asked, struggling to understand. “Mostly grayish things…I can see bright colors, like that yellow there…” and he’d point. “But, like, what does the SKY look like?” “Mostly gray.” My mind […]

Ten years.

This weekend I went on retreat at a Trappist monastery in Berryville, VA. Never having done such a thing before, I was curious, filled mostly with interested anticipation but with a little trepidation. Would I go crazy, I wondered, with nearly 48 hours off the grid entirely, not just no internet, but no phone, no […]

Which questions?

One of the things recommended to me from several sources has been, “Ask questions!” Tonight I spent some time writing down a list of questions to ask the oncologist tomorrow. My brother and I are going with my parents to the initial appointment, and the long process of learning about cancer and what the hell […]