To pick up and start saying, again, “It’s been so long since I wrote…!” would do very little but state the obvious and make me feel sheepish even to be updating again.
I spent some time, before writing this, updating the site’s appearance. It had literally not been updated since I set up the site in 2009. Retro chic, sure, but…
Picking out a photo, some colors, staring at it, starting over, click – push – think – reject – click – hum – tap.
Was I avoiding writing?
Not because I don’t want to – because there is too much.
It’s been almost exactly eight months since the last time I updated.
In those eight months I:
- Ran my first 5K, on Thanksgiving 2015
- Recorded the annual singing of “Let’s Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas” for posterity (AKA Joel Hodgson himself)
- At the party where we sang that song, I met a longtime friend of a friend, thought he was cute, asked him out, and wound up falling in love with him. Like you do, I suppose. Or like you do if you’re not me, because it was a fairly out of the ordinary occurrence in my life.
- Spent New Year’s weekend on silent retreat
- Spent Valentine’s weekend at the motorcycle show
- Celebrated turning 44
- Attended a leadership conference in New York City with others from my church
- Came home from that conference to escort that guy I fell in love with a couple bullet points back to the airport where he flew off to his new amazing job opportunity in the Philippines
- Attended General Assembly (annual meeting of the UUA) in Columbus, Ohio where I started doing the actual work of preparing to apply to divinity school (among many other things)
- Made plans, schemed, and dreamed about my future
- Actually worked to make those things happen including:
- Applied for, was offered, and gratefully accepted the position of part-time Youth Director at my church…starting yesterday!!
- Asked my mother if she actually meant it when she said I could live at home with her rent free during graduate school, which she did, so that’s happening
- Loved it when a plan came together
- Missed that guy (see above) like whoa
- Loved him anyway
- Loved my friends, my family, my life, my community, like whoa
- Lived into the future
And that is as good a time as ever to stop the past-tense listing. I could go on and on, but to serve what purpose?
I’ve asked myself that same question – what purpose!??!? – about this very blog so many times. I don’t know, but I’m not ready to let it go yet. I have a lot going on. I should probably continue to document it, share it, be proud of it, get nervous about it, ask for help with it, and show off about it as much as I can find time and energy for.
In May I got another tattoo (see? I told you that list wasn’t complete!). “Every day can be the day everything changes.” For good, for bad, for both – change is life. The change I seek, the change that comes unannounced – bring it on. Every last living breathing loving fearing embracing bit of it.