a little gift
I didn’t set an alarm this morning, though it was in the back of my mind I’d like to go to church this week. I had been invited to a brunch; there was also a movie I wanted to see. When I first awoke to the gray, rainy morning my mind immediately leapt into overdrive. If I get up now, I can make it to Mass at X time. If I do that, I can make it to brunch. Or, I could go to Mass at Y time, and make it to the movie. Perhaps if I can’t make it to the brunch I can take the time to run this errand, or that one. I should measure that picture, I need to find a frame. I need a new wallet. I haven’t been to the library in a while. I still have part of a gift certificate to the bookstore. I’d better double-check the grocery list. Maybe I’ll…
Mercifully, I fell back to sleep.
I woke up again a little more than an hour later, realizing some decisions had been taken out of my hands. I didn’t get to church, brunch, OR the movie. I did get a new wallet (the old one was literally ripping apart). I did get groceries. I did clean my apartment.
I did walk in the rain. I did do more thinking about what the practice of religion means to me, versus the mere state of spirituality. I thought about failing to do a thing or two while still not feeling like A Failure. I thought about people I treasure.
Now I’m thinking falling back asleep was the best decision I could have made, all things considered, even if it wasn’t a conscious decision. Now I’m thinking of a quiet evening at home, inside, with the cats, peaceful.
Happy Sunday.
August 15, 2010
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Jen · 
One Comment
Tags: peaceful, sunday · Posted in: Uncategorized
One Response
Having a similar Sunday. Trying to decide whether to go to sangha, or to try to meditate on my own, or to try to achieve some measure of inner peace by getting things done that need doing.
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