Love at home.
The past two years on Valentine’s Day, I’ve taken a look at love outside of romantic love. You can take a look at 2008’s and 2009’s musings, if you’d like. When I sat down to think about love this year, the first thing to come to mind was family.
It’s not surprising. It was a difficult year for all of us, but we are still close, still strong as a family through all of it. My family is small and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have tons of aunts, uncles, and cousins. During the past year, though, I was given many opportunities to be thankful for my small, peaceful family. Too many times I have heard horror stories about families arguing about what type of treatment to pursue when a family member is sick, or of one family member alienating the others due to harmful words spoken at a time of stress.
When my father was laid up at home, then the hospital, then the convalescent center, we could all fit in the room together. My father, surrounded by me and my mother and my brother and my sister-in-law and my nephews. My father didn’t want other visitors other than a few clergy who were also close friends, and his wishes were respected. My aunt, my father’s younger sister, was also there with us sometimes on the phone since she and her husband do not live close by. We still knew we could always count on them for support.
With everything, the stress and the pain and the not-knowing and then the knowing when there was nothing good to know, the bond of love was still strong. I can speak only for myself, but it was an anchor, something to cling to through everything. I know that we all said “I love you” to each other more often during the course of this year. Maybe it’s a shame that it took a crisis to get us to that point but mainly I’m proud that we got there, together.
Without the support and love and understanding of my family, my life would be far bitterer, smaller, and decidedly less vibrant. The person I am would not be possible without love from all of them, and I can only hope to grow and continue in their love, and in turn to give them as much love and support as I can.
While you’re out grabbing that box of chocolates or those flowers (and at this late hour you might be better served with something more thoughtful and less perfunctory, anyway!), spare a thought for your family, and the love that is harbored there. The earliest love in our lives helps make us able to love throughout them, and there is no better gift.
February 14, 2010
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Jen · 
4 Comments
Tags: family, love · Posted in: Uncategorized
4 Responses
you grew up blessed with an amazingly tight and loving family. it isn’t until later in life that we realize that isn’t necessarily the norm and what a gift it is.
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An excellent point, that I skipped for brevity, and probably shouldn’t have. Not everyone has this gift and that makes it even more precious.
So, so true. I spent much of the weekend thinking of all my valentines…all the loves of my life: family and friends who make it what it is.
Definitely, Kelly. It’s a time to remember everyone we’ve loved.
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